I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
