apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
