U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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