Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
