There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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