When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize