Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
