Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
