is your mom at the bar?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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