I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
