So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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