Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
