It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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