And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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