i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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