If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
