Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
