You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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