Yo dont text me then not text me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
