We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
