Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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