dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
