So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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