I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
