she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
