So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize