How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How's work?
Spinning.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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