That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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