So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
