We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
