Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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