I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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