if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
