I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
