Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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