after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
