Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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