I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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