I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
