Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
