and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize