:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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