ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
