Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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