how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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