I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
