guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
