I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
did i just pee glitter
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize