I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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