It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
