matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
