I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
