"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
