I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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