so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
