i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've blown a few things in my day
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize