I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
