My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
